There’s so much I have to say about this topic but I must remain focused. Model, Amber Rose was recently on a show called “It’s Not You, It’s Men” on OWN TV (Oprah’s network)  On the show, she was talking with singer Tyrese Gibson and Rev Run, formally of Run DMC about consent and about how a woman’s attire should not dictate how a man treats you more or less. On one side I completely agree with Amber. I don’t care if I was walking down the street in my birthday suit, that gives no man the right to touch me, or harass me in any way.  It is NOT an open invitation to violate me.  On the other hand I agree with Rev Run who states “dress how you want to be addressed”. Sounds simple right? Wrong. As a woman who does not dress provocatively I can tell you that it doesn’t matter how you dress because some men will try you regardless.  Whether you’re dressed like a business woman or a prostitute SOME men were not raised to respect women.  I’m not bashing men because guess what? Some women weren’t raised to respect themselves which I still believe lays the foundation for how others treat you and regard you.  Have I seen a woman on the street scantily clad and think she lacks class? Yes I have, I’m being honest.  Does that mean she doesn’t have class? Not necessarily.  Some think that  “dress how you want to be addressed” is misogynistic drivel. I call BS. If you show up to a job interview dressed sloppily even if your resume is stellar, do you think an employer is going to take you seriously? Probably not.  Does it mean you aren’t qualified for the job? Not necessarily but I like to think that how you dress is a representation and extension of yourself. Does that mean a woman with hardly any clothes on is a slut? No. The same way that a woman who is always in a suit isn’t necessarily a prude.  I told you it wasn’t simple.  If I’m going out on a night on the town I’m going to dress for the occasion. If a man tries to grab my hand or waist (which is a no no) I reserve the right to express to him that that behavior isn’t cool. I should be able to express that without being called a bitch or stuck up. (This is a topic for another day) As far as Amber’s view goes, the bottom line is you should be able to dress how you see fit without anyone acting like they have the right to your body.  I completely agree with her. But that doesn’t change what people THINK of you no matter how unfair that may be.

Let me start off by saying, I weep for the future. You will see me say this often. Why do I weep you may ask?  Because our future is in the hands of today’s youth and today’s youth lack social skills. (No, social media does NOT count).  Why do they lack social skills? Because they are the descendants of the information age.  The computer age. The death of the conversation age.  So much is done behind the screen these days which is ironic considering I am typing this for my blog….that can only be viewed via computer of some sort.  Of course I understand that times are constantly changing and with those changes one must adapt or get left behind. But this era of quick, and trite answers, and “conversations” based on characters, and emojis, and not spoken words will lead to disaster. (Remember I told you I was dramatic) It’s a disaster because some folks haven’t learned how to switch between the smartphone world and the real world.  In the smartphone world you can literally reach thousands maybe millions of people in a matter of seconds.  You never have to see their faces, or spend five seconds with these people.  You can’t enjoy their company.  You get to put your words, good or bad into the universe and then you can hide.  Or when people take offense to those words you can say ” Oh I didn’t mean it that way, you misinterpreted what I meant”. It’s easy to do that because there is no context. In the real world there are people, REAL people with reactions and feelings and you can’t escape how a person receives you because the output is instantaneous.  It has changed the way people even date.  More and more people meet via sites like Match and eHarmony.  Your representative works overtime.  But what happens when it’s time for the REAL you to show up?  What happens when you meet face to face and realize there’s no chemistry, just words? What happens when you’re at work and you mistakenly slip into text prose while composing an email? (I’ve seen this happen more times than I should) What happens when someone is trying to talk to you and all you can add to the conversation is “ummmmm…..” I referenced the youth at the top of this post because they are the generation that has never known a world without the internet or social media in it.  Let that sink in for a minute. Talk about lost in translation.